Category Archives: Fostering Effective Relationships

10 Expectations From Students

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Carolyn Cameron, one of the most open and progressive principals I have ever known (she was also my former boss), shared the following video regarding student expectations for school.  The first point was that it was important to build relationships and know students as individuals.  The nine other points are things that I really believe in, but it was great hearing it from a student perspective.

Although this is a video that will bring attention to a book that is being sold, I think that it is a great conversation starter with faculty and students.  Interestingly enough, it was released around the same time the Jeff Bliss video was being shared.  Perhaps a much more positive way to start the conversation not only on what students look for in the classroom, but also may give some thoughts on how to give students this voice and take action based on what they have said.

Student voice is important but it is essential that if we ask them to take the time to share their thoughts, that we also show progress in what they have asked.

Kids and their phones!

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cc licensed ( BY SA ) flickr photo shared by goodevilgenius

True story…

I had an interesting conversation with a fellow educator the other day about how students are so connected to their mobile devices.  As I listened quietly, she told me about college students and how they were constantly checking their phone, rudely interrupting class with their ringers going off, and were distracted in a way that she has never seen before.

Then her phone rang.  She then proceeded to pick it up, answer, and excuse herself from the conversation.

Yup…that just happened.

So as I laughed at the irony of this, I thought about all of the ways that we vilify kids for behaviours that we do so often.

For example, I have heard complaining from adults in the staff room about students using their phone during recess and not exercising as much as they should.  All of this, while being on the same break, checking their messages, calling their spouses, and eating unhealthy treats because, well, it’s a day of the week.

I am not saying that I think kids should be on the phone at recess and not exercise, but I believe in balance.  What I do have an issue with is saying that kids should not be doing something that we are able to do.

I had a parent once tell me that kids are becoming ridiculous with technology, and then watched her pack up the kids in her mini-van, start the car, turn on her phone, and start talking while she was driving with them in the vehicle.

Those darn kids!

Back to the beginning of the story.

As the mom came back, she told me she had to take the phone call as her husband called because the kids wanted her to sing them to sleep since she was away.  The device let her do that, when years ago, she would have had a hard time being able to say tonight while she was away.

Could you really fault her for taking the that phone call? I know I couldn’t.

The Dead-End Leader

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cc licensed ( BY ) flickr photo shared by bennylin0724

Having a conversation with a good friend and talking about my own experience, we shared some stories about leadership.  The one thought that kept popping up in my head is the notion of the “Dead-End Leader” and how life-sucking these experiences can be in our profession.

Example…

You are having a conversation with your principal talking about a new idea and they tell you all of the reasons why it won’t work.  That is essentially saying “no”, or else, “too risky for me to back it.” This puts you in the position of either not doing it, not feeling comfortable being ‘subversive’, or making it happen in spite of your administrator.

Take the same idea with the same risks, and your leader says, “I’m not sure, but have you thought about these things?”. Or saying,”I don’t know enough about this, so please tell me more.”

Great leaders continue the conversation.

They empower you.

They show trust in your ability and knowledge.

They don’t stop the journey, but make you think about your course.

This is more than great leadership, but this is also great learning.

This (for me) goes back to the question…are you a fountain or a drain?

(As I wrote this, I thought of this video and post shared by Dean Shareski.  Take a look at it because it is definitely worth the time.)

 

The First Step to Change

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I get a lot of emails asking about creating the conditions for change and recently was asked, “As a new principal, what is the first step to create a better learning environment in our school?”

Here is my answer…do nothing.

Too many times people walk into buildings and have some great ideas and they start trying to tweak this, and change that, etc., yet that often alienates the people that you want to get better.

What I would strongly suggest is that you sit back, watch, learn, and figure out what people are great at already and build from there.  You will build relationships and people will trust that when new initiatives begin popping up in your school that you already value their skills and abilities.  Also, this will create a team approach as opposed to the “admin vs. teacher” culture that is prevalent in many schools.

“It takes far less energy to move from  first-rate performance to excellence than it does to move from incompetence to mediocrity.”  Peter Drucker

What Teachers Do

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cc licensed ( BY ) flickr photo shared by Cia de Foto

I had some pretty bad moments as a student.  I have no idea what happened to me in grade 7 and 8, but I was like a kid from another planet.  I went from a sweet and innocent child, to a tyrant that was always getting into trouble.

Mrs. Oleksyn, my principal during that time, had to put up with a lot of my issues.  In one class, I was continuously being disruptive and bothering others, and she told me that I was not allowed to go back until I apologized which I refused to do.  Literally a day later, with no apology, she sent me back knowing that I would not budge.  I even punched her in the stomach (seriously) when I thought she was someone else on the playground. Yes, I punched my female principal in the stomach when I was 13.  Although it was accidental, you could see that I was not on a good path.

Mr. Dutchak was my Algebra teacher in high school which was one of the subjects that I struggled with the most.  What does a kid (or people) do when they struggle?  Either try  to be invisible or become a pain.  I am not the invisible type.  I did everything to be a pain and jerk as a kid to him because, looking back, I struggled with the subject.

Both of these teachers put up with so much because of my insecurities, dealing with growing up, and just being a brat.

Both of these teachers were also at my father’s funeral and made sure that they came up to me (and my family) to give their condolences and tell me how highly they thought of my father.

When many cut down teachers and say things like they get paid too much or they do it for the “holidays”, just know that at the same time a teacher is probably visiting one of their students in the hospital, watching a little league game, coordinating a trip and spending their weekends with students as their coach, or reaching out to them when they are dealing with something like I dealt with.  Not just the “good” kids, but the ones that were like me.  They see past the kid they are at the time, and they focus on the adult that kid (with guidance) could become.  Neither Mr. Dutchak or Mrs. Oleksyn gave up on me when it would have been really easy to do just that.  They were actually there for me (and my siblings) during the toughest time of my life, twenty years after I left school.

Are all teachers like this?  Nope.  But a ton of them are and they are the people that inspired me to become a teacher, and still inspire me today.

To those teachers, I say both “sorry” and “thank you”.

To people outside of the profession, just remember that many teachers do much more than teach a curriculum.  They help develop people.

When You Outgrow Leadership

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Screen Shot 2013-04-20 at 12.39.47 PM“Anyone can run away; it’s super easy. Facing problems and working through them, that’s what makes you strong.”Unknown

With the infusion of social media into our everyday lives, along with educators using to connect and learn from others, the expectations in our own circumstances has been raised.  Through sites like Connected Principals (full disclosure…this is a site that I created and which many contribute), the role of principal and how it is done in other organizations has become increasingly transparent.  People have access to what leadership looks like, and many want more guidance to reach a higher level in their own careers.  In working with many “high-flyers” both in and out of my organization, one of the consistent things that I see in all of them is the craving for mentorship.  They tend to be “sponges” and want to soak in as much as they can, learn from it, and lead because of it.  Often though, this mentorship can be lacking in their own situation and leaves a person with a couple of choices; leave or flounder.  I would like to hope that every principal and superintendent is amazing, but as in every field, there are those that are lacking.

Make your intentions transparent

Some want to become a principal and some want to stay in the classroom their entire career and be the best teacher possible.  Leadership is essential in growing both, yet often our goals are not known by those that we work with.  Simply asking for a time to sit down from your leader and talk about what you would like to do or where you would like to go is the first step in getting to your next level.  We often assume that our leadership does not know what we need, but sometimes the reason is because we have never had an open conversation and shared our aspirations.  It is hard to be on the same page if we have no idea the direction.

Empowering your leader

Insecurity can lead to serious issues in both our personal and professional life, and leadership is a tough position that can really exponentiate those feelings.  It doesn’t happen with all leaders, but it does happen.  We often want to feel valued by our leadership, but how often do we try to show how we value the person above us in the chain of command?  Simply asking questions such as, “what do you think?”, or “what would your suggestions be to get to the next level?”, shows that you value their opinion.  Communication and relationships are always a two-way street and we have to treat them that way no matter the hierarchy.

Find mentorship

Whether your are getting what you need in terms of mentorship from your own leader, an outside mentor is always beneficial.  Not simply someone else in your building, but more important, someone outside.  When we spend a lot of time in one place, we often become oblivious to the things that may jump out to others.  A different perspective can help us grow and bring more leadership within our own organizations and be crucial in our own development.  Asking advice, listening to stories, or sharing difficulties with someone else may help to open your eyes to new solutions that are not currently being brought into your line of sight.

Moving forward

I am blessed to have many great mentors within my own school division, but I often benefit from connecting to principals and superintendents from around the world to get a different viewpoint and to hopefully help my own growth.  Many are not in my situation, but as we ask students to find solutions to their own problems, we need to do the same or ourselves.  There will be no growth if all we do is complain that our current leadership is not cutting it; that is simply a waste of time.  The best educators find a way to get the mentorship that they crave for their own growth in their current situation, or they leave and find it somewhere else.  We always have choices.

So Much More Effective

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cc licensed ( BY ) flickr photo shared by kevin dooley

Jimmy Casas is my hero.

I was able to sit back, and watch one of the most effective principals I have ever seen in my career.  Seeing the pride that he had in every element of his school, whether it was in the displaying of student work throughout the school, ensuring that the floors were so clean that you could eat off of them, or treating every single person in his school like a family member (staff, students, visitors, everyone), I was so impressed with what he was to everyone, and what that led to in his school.

As he ensured that I was checked into my hotel, a former student that worked the front desk refused to shake his hand, because he HAD TO come around and hug him for all that he did to ensure that the kid was successful.  The former student told me the story of how he was kicked out of school 3 times, and at 20, he came back and asked for another chance to get his degree and promised he wouldn’t screw up again.  He didn’t, and he graduated.  It takes a special kind of person to be able to kick someone out of school three times, yet have that same person come back to hug him, and that is the kind of person Jimmy emulates.

I saw this love and care in every interaction Jimmy had, but one moment stood out to me.  As they have a “no-hat” policy in the school (which I had been brought up and taught as a sign of respect), Jimmy passed a student wearing one.  As he looked at the student, the student smiled and Jimmy said, “If I had the hair you did, I would never wear a hat.”  As the student smiled and took it off while surrounded by his friends, Jimmy acted in awe of the student’s beautiful hair and made him feel special in a time where he could have easily embarrassed him in front of his peers.  He had the same end result if he would have scolded him, but this way was so much more effective.

As I sat and watched interactions like this over and over again, it reminded me of my parents and how they have always went out of their way to make everyone feel special.  I likened Jimmy to my dad, as he acted like a successful restaurant owner that everyone loved because of how he made them feel.  Although everyone felt special, they also knew Jimmy had extremely high expectations of them, which I am guessing they meet more often than not.

If every principal and leader carried themselves this way, schools would all be the places we dream of them being one day.   Thank you Jimmy for the invitation, but more importantly, the inspiration.  You are amazing to people, and that should not be the exception, but the norm.

Engaging Parents in the Learning Process

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cc licensed ( BY ) flickr photo shared by bestlibrarian

“The role of parents in the education of their children cannot be overestimated.” ~Unknown

When you ask parents from any country in the world, what they ask their children at the end of the day about school, their question is very similar:

“What did you learn today?”

The disconcerting thing is that the answer is almost always exactly the same.

“Nothing.”

With some of the work that we are doing in Parkland School Division, we are really trying to engage parents in the learning of their child by opening the door into the classroom.  Through the use of blogs, twitter, and other social media outlets, the question can change to something similar to, “I saw that you were learning about (blank) today; can you tell me more about it?”

Different questions usually get different responses.  Improve the question and you are more likely to get a better answer.

Parent Participation vs Parent Engagement

Although the more parents can have a positive presence in our schools, the more they will build relationships within the school community, engagement is something different.  Children are shown to have a much better chance at success if their parent is actively engaged and reinforces the learning that is happening in the school.  Case in point; if you want to improve your child’s reading, read to them at a young age and model what you want to see.

Yet as students get older, many parents are uncertain about the learning that is happening and feel uncomfortable with the content.  The benefit of a lot of learning in our schools today is that it is not solely focused on learning content, but skills and process which are important aspects in a learner’s development.  Being able to engage in the process with your child, like reading, will help improve their learning.  That type of engagement brings learning to a different level in the home.

Are we becoming illiterate?

One of the most influential articles that I have read was by Will Richardson on the notion of expanding literacy. In it, Will discusses The National Council of Teachers of English definition of “21st Century Literacies”, and how many adults, not just kids, are becoming or illiterate.  For many, the notion of literacy boils down to reading and writing, yet it is much more.

“Literacy has always been a collection of cultural and communicative practices shared among members of particular groups. As society and technology change, so does literacy. Because technology has increased the intensity and complexity of literate environments, the twenty-first century demands that a literate person possess a wide range of abilities and competencies, many literacies. These literacies—from reading online newspapers to participating in virtual classrooms—are multiple, dynamic, and malleable. As in the past, they are inextricably linked with particular histories, life possibilities and social trajectories of individuals and groups.” NCTE

So with that in mind, what are parents doing at home?  Are they creating websites with their children, assessing what is good and bad information, creating videos and podcasts, and so on?  The majority of our students see the Internet as a place of consumption, not creation.  We need to shift that focus.

Mitch Resnick challenged this notion of consumption when he stated:

“We wouldn’t consider someone literate if they could read but couldn’t write. Are we literate if we consume content online, but don’t produce?”

Based on this ever-changing definition, we have to ask, “Are we literate?”

Keeping Kids Safe

People are quick to jump on using these new types of technologies as either “dumbing down” education (David Crystal’s research shows that reading and writing improve through the use of mobile devices as opposed to the other way around) or that kids will be unsafe.   The reality is that schools in partnership with parents, need to guide children to not only be safe, but to leverage these technologies so that children will have opportunities that we did not.

Carlene Oleksyn, a parent and pharmacist, has immersed herself in the use of social media, not only for the benefit of her own learning, but to ensure that she safely guides her children.  In a recent post on her blog titled, “The Talk”, she shares a conversation that she has with her children:

It started like this:

“Boys, when I need to hire someone do you know what one of the first things is I do?”

Nope, they had no idea.

“I google them,” I said. “I see what they post on Facebook, Twitter, blogs. If they have posted anything that is calling someone else down, is sexually inappropriate, or if they’ve made blatantly disrespectful comments on other people’s postings, I would tend not to hire that person.”

The difference between Carlene and many is not this talk, but it is the credibility that Carlene has from immersing herself in using these technologies herself.  By having a Twitter account, blog, amongst  other things, she has learned how to keep safe by stepping out and looking around first, as opposed to simply letting her kids run wild when they reach the age they are allowed to use social media based on a company’s terms of service.

From her experience, she is able to give some very relevant advice:

I think as parents we need to do three things for our kids:

  • Be aware of what our children are doing on the internet

  • Be on sites with them and teach as they go.

  • Be examples with our own digital identity.

Carlene understands that the world is changing, so she is taking advantage of the learning that can be done while helping her children navigate some murky waters to find a much more positive place.  She is setting a high standard for her kids not only through her words, but through her actions.

Concluding Thoughts

Kids existing online is not enough.  Many schools talk about the notion of “digital citizenship” but simply being a “citizen” is not the heights we should be aiming for offline, so why is it online?

Through my work, I have tried to focus on the idea of “Digital Leadership”; the notion of using the technologies that we have to make a positive difference in the lives of others.  I try to model this simply by writing this post and trying to build more awareness of the opportunities that technology affords parents and children in learning.  Some kids are doing amazing things.

Millgrove School was recently highlighted on Global TV for their work on trying to use social media for learning, but by doing good for their community and hoping to inspire others around the globe.  Isn’t that the standard we should be aiming for as school communities?

To be successful, educators do not only need the support of parents, we need their engagement.  The door is opening more every day to your child’s classroom.  Are you ready to step through?

The Danger of Extremes

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cc licensed ( BY ) flickr photo shared by evoo73

Joe Bower is a good friend of mine and someone that I really look up to in the field of education. Although we don’t always agree with each other, I know that we both respect each other’s point of views.  I am an avid reader of his blog (you should be too) and was particularly interested in his latest post titled, “Who should control teachers’ professional learning?”

Although there is somewhat of a political nature that is involved in his post, two statements that Joe made really stick out to me:

  • I summarize my worse learning experiences as top-down, externally mandated, out-of-context, irrelevant to me and little to no purpose events that I am expected to play a passive role. I own my learning. Who owns yours?
  • Who owns a teacher’s professional development? And under what circumstances would the answer to the above question ever be someone other than the teacher? To avoid cultures of compliance, teachers need autonomy.

So do I disagree with Joe on what he has said and questioned here?  Yes AND no.

As a teacher, I would agree with the statement made about some of his worst learning experiences being top down.  As an administrator, I also see the need of having a vision and purpose that a team works together.  My job is to work with my staff to develop some school objectives, not simply dictate them to staff.  I also believe that teachers should be able to further their own learning in many different areas.

Although we are often isolated in our classrooms as educators, teachers should not work in isolation.  They should be a part of a team that works together to build the best environments for students, and looks at kids as part of a school, not simply part of a classroom.  Many people refer to Dan Pink’s work in “Drive” regarding motivation, on the notion of autonomy, yet they often leave out the element he writes about purpose.  

Sorry for using a sports analogy, but Michael Jordan was the best player in the NBA yet won no championships until Phil Jackson took over the team (6 championships with the Bulls, and 5 with the Lakers; the guy is pretty good).  As the coach, he had the team work towards a common goal, while each defining their role in serving the larger purpose.  Autonomy and purpose.  That is how individuals work together to serve a higher purpose.  Does his quote below have any relation to the work that we do in schools?

“Basketball is a sport that involves the subtle interweaving of players at full speed to the point where they are thinking and moving as one.” Phil Jackson

We talk about change a lot, and it starts with one person, yet there needs to be a team working together to make it sustainable.  Often a great teacher in a weak school either becomes a weak teacher or leaves.  The opposite is often true.  What are we aiming for?  A few great individual teachers in schools, or great schools with a culture of great teaching?

Now I am not saying that teachers do not need autonomy over their learning; they absolutely do (kids too right?).  I am just saying that it is not an “either/or” proposition.  We tend to watch the pendulum swing from one side to the other, often missing the ideal middle with a lot of our initiatives.

Group work serves some, where others excel working in isolation.  

Lecture isn’t bad; lecture all of the time is bad. Reflection time is essential.

Skills do not develop if you do not have the knowledge to build upon.

I won’t take away your pencil, if you don’t take away my computer.  Both work for the person that has chosen to use them. 

I guess my point is that shifting from extremes on either end is rarely beneficial.  I believe, as Sir Ken Robinson says, that education needs  transformation more than reformation, but does that mean we throw out everything that we have done?  If education is to be truly personalized, we need to find out what works for different people while also working together to find what our current strengths are and build upon them as well.

If we always stand on opposite sides, will we ever truly move forward?