cc licensed flickr photo shared by RambergMediaImages
I have always wanted to share this story as it has meant so much to me. It is all true, except I have changed the name of the student involved. Hopefully it can impact you even a percentage of what is has impacted me.
Several years ago, I had a grade 9 student in my math class who was constantly bothered and bugged by other students. Although it was something that we talked about the kids, and was in no way malicious, it was wrong. I always knew that. When I looked at “Chris”, I knew that he was a unique kid and others were missing the gift this student had. He was extremely intelligent, kind, and had a heart of gold. How could people not see that?
When Chris was in Grade 10, I was the head coach of the basketball team. Plainly put, Chris was terrible. I had seen him play sports before and a few years earlier this was not the type of student I would have encouraged to play on my team. Higher level sports in high schools, were about doing your best to win. I had always done my best to get the best athletes on my team.
Knowing Chris wanted to play and knowing that he had these gifts that others didn’t see, I talked to him into playing basketball, hoping that the teasing would not increase when his athletic ability was on full display. I pulled him aside and said, “Chris, I want you on the team, but I want to be clear that you will not get as much playing time as others. With that being said, I think that there will be a real benefit for you playing. Are you okay with this?”. Chris looked at me and said he wanted to play.
As the season progressed, I made a special point to really take time with Chris and joke around with him the most in front of the kids. Although he rarely said anything, Chris smiled a lot more then what I was use to. What I also noticed was that the more that I spent time talking with him, so did the other team. He was slowly coming out of his shell and his teammates were starting to see the same gifts he had. He was still a terrible basketball player but with that being said, he worked so hard and pushed others in practice. That was his role on the team and he did his best to fulfill expectations.
His acceptance by his team led to acceptance by others in school. I would usually see Chris on his own at lunch, but now he was hanging out with others at lunch. He not only was sitting with others, but he was actively participating in the conversation. The more he came out of his shell, the more everyone loved him, including myself.
As the season had come to a close, Chris had not scored a single point. Not one the entire year. As we were up in a game by about 20 points, I had put Chris into the game but pulled him aside and said, “I don’t care where you are. If you get the ball, shoot.” I talked with the others on the floor and said the sole objective was to get Chris to score and we needed to make it happen.
Chris was so unselfish and was not comfortable shooting. Every time he touched the ball, he passed it to his teammates even though I was on the sideline yelling, “Shoot! Shoot!”. I called a timeout and told Chris, “You need to shoot. I need you to score.” The gym was full and EVERYONE knew what we were doing and started cheering his name. Chris ended up with the ball about 10 feet behind the 3 point line and I was about 5 feet away from him yelling at him to shoot. Chris launched the ball into the air in a shot that I would have benched any other player for taking. I will never forget the arc of the ball as it seemed to hang in the air forever. Then it happened. “SWISH!” The gym went nuts!
At school the next day, everyone was talking about the shot Chris made and how it was something really special. After that game, Chris was probably never alone again or without friends. Everyone saw what I saw and Chris has been doing fantastic things in his adult life.
At the end of that season, after losing out to go to our provincial championships and being devastated, we went back to our school to pack up our stuff. When we walked out of the gym, I pulled Chris aside and simply said, “Thanks for playing this year. It was a lot of fun.” Chris who had barely ever initiated any conversation with me, stopped me and said, “You’re a good coach.” I immediately had tears. A kid who had barely played at all, and never saw the floor for probably more than 20 minutes the entire season, told me I was a good coach. I probably have never had a more meaningful moment in my career.
I would love to say that I was smart enough to have the foresight to see what was going to happen here, but in reality, I just liked Chris and I wanted him to do well. I didn’t have any clue how his life and my focus would change. Sports to me was about winning first but Chris taught me so much more. As my student, Chris taught me that my influence and impact can go far beyond the classroom. My impact on kids will last for a long time, whether it is good or bad. I need to always be cognizant of this. He also taught me about what “success” really means.
Sports and school were never the same for me. At the end of each season, only one team can win it all. If that is how you define success, you will fail more than you ever succeed. Once the focus changed for me though, I found a way for myself and my kids to be successful every single year.
What does success look like to you?
Wow George! I have tears in my eyes just reading your post. I think it's amazing how Chris helped change your definition of "success." You gave him a chance, and what he gained from this chance really shaped the rest of his life.
For me, success is about making a difference. Success might be a child that comes to me unable to read and starts reading throughout the year, or success might be a child that's quiet and unsure of him/herself, and starts coming out of his/her shell. Success might be about the child finding a voice. Success is about change, and when reading your story, I can see that "change" happened for sure.
Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story!
Aviva
Thanks Aviva
The best educators are the ones that change right alongside with their students. Modeling this growth is essential to our students to see. I really appreciate your comment.
Nice story. I too teared up while reading it. Chris was lucky to have you as his teacher and coach.
Thank you for sharing
Thanks for your comment Larry
We are lucky we are in the profession that we are. I wonder how many other professions give us these types of stories?
Pingback: Tweets that mention Success | The Principal of Change -- Topsy.com
I think we often forget how much influence we have on the children we serve. By showing the others that Chris had VALUE, you modeled something so very important. Thanks for sharing this success story, George. It's a great example for us all to remember.
Thanks Michelle
The cool thing about the situation was that the more I got to know him and "stick" up for him, the more I realized how great a kid he really was.
Wow! You probably affected the course of Chris' life! I know that sounds like a pretty strong statement, but it's true! You made him feel better about himself, which in turn affected the way others interacted with him. That created a continuous cycle that you started. I'm sure he thinks about you often.
Thank you for sharing such an inspiring and uplifting post.
Luckily I keep up to date with him. We both affected each other I think, but I am not sure how much he knows that. Thanks so much for your comment
George,
A few weeks ago I had an amazing conversation with an innovative phys-ed specialist I know and she told me some things that are major paradigm shifts.
She told me that she doesn't believe in the way we do school teams. She said that this was because it was one symptom of our hypocrisy as it relates to sports at school. In her opinion, if we applied certain practices we do to sports in any other school area, people would be up in arms about inequity. If anything, we should be making teams for the students that AREN'T elite players at our school. It was an equity issue for her. Interesting perspective, eh?
Thanks for sharing this beautiful post. Big picture, big picture. You always remind us of the big picture. Your leadership is so appreciated in our PLN.
Thanks buddy
I appreciate you sharing your story. The hard thing about what you are saying is that the older kids get in the K-12 system, we have to adjust to ensure that our students have the opportunities that are afforded to them in university and college. Kids get scholarships to play sports so that means money to them, so we adjust to accommodate universities, just like it is hard to get rid of grades in a high school setting since marks are so important to students getting into school. It is interesting that the institutions that should be preparing best practices in any profession, seem to push us to do worst practices in school. Many universities have to change their practice to align with what is right about education.
I was also very moved by your story, but I am nagged by this importance you placed on winning. Out of curiosity, do you still place the same value on winning? If you had a "do over", would you do it the same?
Thanks for your comment Niki
Winning was what success was to me before this time, not after. My focus has definitely changed. With that being said though, at the high school level, many athletes are vying for scholarships in sports and how I define success, and how a university recruiter defines it are different. We need to ensure that we give opportunities for those students to follow their dreams and passions, just like we would the student that is wanting the "grades" to go into medicine. What people have to see though is that sports is more than just competition. It is a great way to connect and build friendships that will last long after our time together on a team. That is what is important.
George, I define success as "moving from here to there". For students wouldn't it be better not to grade their work but to strive to help them add to their learning, life experiences, skill sets, knowledge accumulation, etc. If all students were able to "move from here to there" in their learning, all would be succeeding. It may be faster or slower depending on the content area but progressing. Sounds like success…
Thanks for your comment Brian!
I think there are many ways we measure success and it is different for every student we have. I think it is crucial for everyone that works with children to help them achieve some success. The way you helped this student achieve success is an amazing story. It shows how important it is to build relationships with all the people we work with.
The success you helped "Chris" achieve is something that cannot be measured! I think we focus so much on scores and benchmarks that students are not given the wonderful gift that you gave this student. We are so focused on getting scores up in our district that we become assessment machines. One of the reasons I read your blog…religiously, is it helps to remind me that there are so many things that are more important! You have not only helped to make "Chris" achieve success, but by sharing all that you believe you have helped educators achieve it as well.
Thanks for all you do!
As a former coach and hopefully future administrator, I am inspired by your story. Thank you for sharing.
Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!
you’re really a good webmaster. The site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a magnificent job on this topic!
Ive been meaning to read this and just never received a chance. Its an issue that Im very interested in, I just started reading and Im glad I did. Youre a fantastic blogger, one of the greatest that Ive seen. This blog unquestionably has some data on subject that I just wasnt aware of. Thanks for bringing this things to light.
as I website possessor I believe the content here is really wonderful, thanks for your efforts.